Am I Sexually Broken?

I have been hearing from women over the last several months about this idea that they are sexually broken. And a lot of times they are welling up with tears, and this is the first time they’ve ever voiced this to someone.

It’s this idea that there is something about you that’s not fixable—that’s broken and doesn’t work.

That you are never going to have that vibrant sexual life—the orgasms, the pleasure, the feeling of desire and of being desired—that others have.

It breaks my heart every time I hear a woman say she’s broken.

And I keep hearing myself tell people “You’re not broken!”

There is just something you need that you didn’t get.

Maybe you need more education about your body.

Maybe you need to understand more about how your pleasure works.

Maybe you don’t have the skills to really identify what you want and get those things in your sexual relationship.

Maybe there is some healing that you need to do, or there is some shame that needs to be addressed.

There are so many things that hold people back about their sexuality that often we just haven’t had any space or permission to do the work to heal it, or to talk about it in a way that helps us grow.

A huge component of it the experiential sexuality work that I do is giving people that open, receptive space. I give people permission–not because they need it from me–because they simply need the permission and space to heal and explore.

An enormously powerful aspect of this work is to assist people to attain the healing around sexual shame that they really need. We all have some sexual shame to heal or some messages we may have taken in that tell us something about us is broken.

You are not broken.

There is just something that you need that you never got, and now you get to receive it and change that old story and the patterns that go with it.

Don’t believe that lie anymore. It’s a story. You’re not sexually broken. That voice is just a beacon calling you home.