Articles
Sex After Divorce
Divorce is a developmental stage of adulthood. Every adult who is in partnership will, at some point lose a partner to divorce or death and will have to find their way again. The question is: What will we create out of the rubble? What magic will open up? How will we...
The 9 Steps to Sexual Empowerment
People are often confused by what I mean when I say I work with people to become sexually empowered and that there are steps to sexual empowerment. Sexuality is so vast that when people want to work on their sexual selves they often don't even know where to begin. One...
Sex is a Skill
Most of us experience fumbly, awkward, unsexy early ventures into the forays of sexual pleasuring with a partner without sex skills. I certainly did. In a culture like ours, where we place so little emphasis on teaching sex education, we are all left to stumble about...
The Secret to Talking Openly About Sex
My path as an educator included earning a Masters in Human Sexuality Education, but you don’t have to go get a graduate degree in human sexuality to learn how to really talk openly about sex. Anyone who cares about having a fulfilling, meaningful sexual life, anyone...
Skillful Sexual Communication in Couples
For so many years, I have heard stories from people–both men and women about their lost sexual lives, or about the lack of sexual communication in couples. I hear a lot of pain, sadness and a real loss in these stories. I hear from a lot of people who have been in...
What’s a Sex Coach?
When I tell someone that I’m a sex coach, they generally find it confusing. Often, I will hear, “Oh, so like, you’re a sex therapist?” Well not exactly. “So then, what is it that you actually do?” Sex coaching has made it to the news a few times and I was...
Am I Sexually Broken?
I have been hearing from women over the last several months about this idea that they are sexually broken. And a lot of times they are welling up with tears, and this is the first time they’ve ever voiced this to someone. It’s this idea that there is something about...
Sex & Money 101
As I continue to incorporate the connection between Sex and Money into my work, I am asked over and over again, “How exactly are sex and money connected?” I found myself explaining some of the myriad ways they are connected and decided if they had those questions, you...
Talking About Taboos
How often do you filter yourself and prevent yourself from speaking up about something that needs to be spoken? The world would be completely different if we were all fully self-expressed. That doesn’t mean everything has to be said, because it doesn’t and learning...
Why “Good Guys Finish Last”
As a sex coach, I’ve been talking to A LOT of amazing, available heterosexual women about what they want in a man over the last several years, and I think it’s high time I talk to you guys about it. I co-wrote Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men nearly 15 years ago to help...
The 5 Major Myths About Sex and Money
This material is adapted from Amy Jo’s teleclass, “The 10 Ways Sex and Money Are Connected.” I want to share the five major myths about sexuality with you, and in the spirit of looking at the connections between sex and money, I think you’ll be surprised at the ways...
The Sexual Agency of Miley Cyrus
Bad pop doesn’t interest me. Dumb performances on MTV that are another cookie cutter-ed shape made of the same old “it’s your job to be pretty and sexy” mold bore me. When Sinead O’Connor got involved in the controversy over Miley Cyrus this week, it piqued my...
The Trained Eye for Sexual Empowerment
Last week I wrote about Miley Cyrus “The Sexual Agency of Miley Cyrus”] and we got a lot of responses to that article. Some people are pissed off she is getting so much attention and hated that I bothered to write about it. Some appreciated another perspective on what...
I’m Coming Out Poly
I’ve “come out” many times in my life. My coming outs are not usually big announcements, they just entail me living how I want to and not hiding it. But sometimes it’s really valuable to come out, to stand, be counted and seen. We’ve made a ton of progress on...
The Root of Men’s Performance Anxiety
Welcome to part 2 of my men’s series. In part one, I talked about why “Good Guys Finish Last” and the real issues behind the good guy/bad boy dichotomy. In this article, I want to go deeper and talk about the shame that men often feel around sexuality and how that...
When Women “Don’t Like” Other Women
“I don’t really like to spend time with other women.”“I don’t feel comfortable around women.” Ever heard women make these comments? Joined together for healing and growth I always raise an internal eyebrow when I hear such things because I know the joy and healing...
Sex and the Scared Little One
I’m in a tricky business. I talk to people all the time who want to change their lives (it seems), and who want to break out bigger, and experience more sexually, because they KNOW there is more–and they just don’t know how. Feeling small… So they reach out to me, or...