Hello, I'm A'magine.
I can remember when I finally put my foot down in my long term relationship and asked my partner to go to couples therapy to work on our sex life—or our lack of it. We had gotten really comfortable. We were best friends and had created a beautiful life together. We had great friends, an amazing home, traveled, and had a lot of fun.
There was just one major issue: we’d stopped having sex much—it was down to one, maybe two times a month and I was sometimes sad about it, sometimes angry and definitely frustrated. I knew we needed help because we weren’t breaking through it on our own. (Yes, even me, a sex educator who’d been working with others on these issues needed that support.)
We went to therapy and we did some couples workshops—we committed ourselves and we did the work. And we created breakthroughs—we were able to do that for a couple of key reasons. One, we were both on board and committed ourselves to changing it. That’s important. We stayed in it, we invested our time, money and energy into our sex life and we got outside support. Remember, the fish can’t see the water in the fishbowl!
I know what it’s like to be in that frustrated place when sex has diminished and the relationship is missing the juice. I also know what it’s like to break through it, create a new normal, bring back the adventure and reconnect with your sweetie and how much that can impact not only the relationship, but your whole lives.