I have always been asked over and over again, “How exactly are sex and money connected?” And let me tell you that there are a myriad ways they are connected and if other people have those questions, you probably do too.
It’s not always immediately apparent, but allow me to break it down. Sex is about relationships, energy, desire, abundance, joy, pleasure, connection, divinity. Money is about relationships, energy, desire, abundance, joy, pleasure, connection, divinity.
Money comes from the divine/universe/spirit/God/energy/whatever-you-call-it and it comes through our relationships. It comes through people from the divine. It’s a tool to assist us to live the life we are meant to live. It’s a way we exchange energy with others…and of course, so is sex!
I’ve seen the effects of the money-sex connection for many years in my work. I remember coaching a male client who started to have a lot of trouble with money and right after that he called me because he started having trouble getting erections for the first time in his life. I sometimes hear from women when they are in survival mode and not making the money they need to make, how they stop wanting to be intimate, they lose their desire and sometimes, they shut down. Not having money can make us feel small.
Making money, being in abundance, and taking care of ourselves puffs us up in a good way. It makes us feel bigger. We get to stop worrying and start dreaming. When we are having great sex and connecting to our bodies and/or partner, that also puffs us up…the peacock feathers come out and we feel BIG.
You are meant to be big. You are not meant to be small. None of us are. Yet we make ourselves small for so many reasons. I work with clients on this all the time…all the ways they sabotage and diminish the fullness of who they are. I see women diminish themselves so they don’t intimidate men. There they go, leaving themselves again to take care of someone else.
Come home. You are not meant to be diminished. You are meant to live an abundant life, full with connection and all the love and money you need. Your creator did not put you here to never have enough.
When my life feels abundant and fulfilling, I feel expansive. Sexuality is by nature expansive. It’s meant to be. It is transformational and it creates energy. Money is energy. When we have money we can create experiences, businesses, dreams. It transforms us too. Sex, “God” and Money are three of the most transformative things in our lives.
Chances are that your orientation and relationship to your sexuality is very related to your relationship to money. Working on one allows you to work on the other. Ignoring one or feeling powerless in it can result in feeling powerless in the other.
Your assignment this week is to write down five core beliefs you have about money. That could be anything from “Money is the root of all evil,” to “Money brings me joy.” Then insert the word “sex” or “sexuality” where “money” is and see if you also carry those beliefs. You might be surprised what you find.