It’s Hump Day.
I’ve been there so many times. It’s that last, seemingly insurmountable hill I have to get over to fully experience the pleasure, joy, success I am aiming at. It’s the night before the deadline, the last week before the vacation, the final conversation before the “yes, it’s a go.” It’s the sweaty palms before asking someone out. It’s the orgasm.
When you go for something you want in life, it’s never a straight shot. Our sexuality often demonstrates this in Technicolor. You have experienced it. You can see the goal, but there are several “obstacles” that stand in between you and that goal, that dream, that desire. This is where the concept of Hump Day came from. When I was a kid, I just thought it was a fun way to talk about sex. When I got older, I realized it is a very real concept. You got to get over the hump to get to the gold. Get over Wednesday to be on the road to Friday and the weekend. The challenges that are a part of growing and expanding make up the humps in our lives.
Sexually, I see this play out in many ways. The most common is that women, in particular, get frustrated by the pace of their arousal, and just want to get to the big O, but they stop somewhere before they can have what they want because they’re tired, they don’t want to keep going, they think it’s taking too long and they are judging themselves, they are worried about their partner, and so on.
When I coach women in my Women’s Sexually Empowered Life Program, we work on this. Don’t stop. Push over the hump and keep going so you can experience pleasure. Women do it once they’ve had an orgasm too. You don’t have to stop at one. If you keep going you can have many. If one feels good, multiple orgasms might be fantastic, if you will let yourself.
I also see this play out in how people approach relationships. They get afraid. It feels too vulnerable to take the next step. To ask them out. To follow up. To make the first move, or the next move. Ask yourself, “Why am I stopping?”
If life feels dull, you’re getting bogged down behind the hump. You’ve got to push through it. Dream it, create it, nourish it. Embrace it. You are here to actively engage with your life, your sexuality, your relationships, your dreams. Complacency will get you nothing but frustration and sadness.
Stop waiting for the world to meet you at your feet and do it for you. You have to do it. You have to want it. Live like you mean it. Screw like you want it. Laugh because it feels good. Dream because it’s what you are meant to do.
Go on, it’s Hump Day. Let that inspire you to do what it takes to get over your hump and experience more than you’ve let yourself experience before. Don’t let the hump get you down.
Exercise: Identify three “humps” you are getting stuck behind in your life. Three places where you just haven’t garnered the extra effort to move past the point of challenge or struggle to get to the gold.