November 3, 2021
Sexual Empowerment | Sexual Politics & Culture

The Modern Sexual Priestess & the Sexually Uninitiated

“Often sensations that we experience as terrible or painful are just pleasure without approval.”

Carolyn Elliott

Once upon a time in many cultures, there was such thing as a sexual priestess. She may not have been called that, but she was an older, sexually wise and experienced woman who would take younger people under her wing to teach them the ways of a sexually healthy, powerful, skilled adult.

It was an initiation of the young into their adult selves so that they could have fulfilling sexual relationships and deep intimacy with lovers and with life.

We are missing sexual initiation in our culture.

A few of us who have rad hippy or witchy moms might have had a rite of passage ritual when our bleeding with the moon began.

I’ve had the joy of sitting in a Lakota sweatlodge with several girls who started their menses and got to choose their counsel of women to come sit with them in the lodge to honor their blood and womanhood.

Yet on the whole, we are a sexually uninitiated culture.

I was talking to a friend of mine about the fact that our country is being run by the uninitiated.

It’s tragic that we would set immature, selfish people loose to “lead” people without themselves having gone through the stages of a true initiation in their own rite, be it a coming of age, or another spiritual initiation.

Many spiritual paths have forms of initiation that prepare a person for the next phase of their leadership, development or journey.

Whether it is a baptism or similar initiation of the young, or one where a person will pass through a gateway into a new level of understanding and leadership, all are initiations to be taken seriously and which have a profound impact on the individual.

All initiation should solidify a person’s commitment to their path and hold them high.

If sexual initiation were widespread our culture would look completely different.

We would have people with respect for their bodies and the bodies of others, which would change, if not eradicate, sexual abuse.

We would have a greater collective understanding of sexuality which would eliminate so much of the sexual shadows that keep us in shame, guilt and unhappiness.

We would inherit a powerful acceptance of our own sexuality, the power it holds and learn to wield it with love, pleasure and respect.

We don’t currently live in that world, and yet that world is possible.

At my Erotic Carnivals, when I bring together a collective of powerful sexual priestesses to hold space and teach erotic skills to adults we are creating a modern sexual initiation.

Most people learn new sexual skills by fumbling around on their own or with a partner, which can be awkward and embarrassing, depending on the relationship.

Often when we attempt to improve our sexual skills with a lover, we might feel self-conscious or feel pressure to perform well, even though we are learning.

When we remove that element of pressure, where we do not feel on the spot to do it well, and we can fumble as needed, laugh and enjoy the process of learning, it creates a confidence we cannot manufacture.

Confidence in our own sexuality and sexual skills is half of what creates sexual possibility.

For if no one has the confidence to go for it, and make something wildly sexy and exciting happen, our sex life flatlines and becomes rote.

No one wants a dead, boring sex life.

What sexual initiation creates, is confidence, courage, power, excitement, ease, boldness, and the ability to ask for what you want and get it.

Sexual initiation creates the opportunity to expand our ability and empower ourselves to create exactly what we desire.

Sexual initiation envelopes not only who we are sexually, but who we BE in the rest of life.

The confidence and wisdom that comes with knowing our own bodies, desires, pleasure maps and sexual selves is so personal and so important that there is no way it won’t create potency and passion in all areas of our life.

Most of us lack sexual role models, much less a modern sexual priestess who can initiate us into the erotic arts.

We all crave initiation, depth, and power in our BEing.

When we are initiated, we are called to a higher way of BEing.

We no longer bifurcate our power—we come home to it, and we show up from a place of freedom, joy and wholeness.

We create the fulfillment most people only dream of, by BEing true to all of who we are.

The sexual is the most personal and transformational part of our lives, often tucked away from sight, hiding.

When we allow our sexual selves to flourish powerfully, when we initiate ourselves into the glory of our sexual natures, we can do and BE anything.

As we create a world of the sexually initiated and we change how we hold the power and sovereignty of all people.

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A’magine, formerly Amy Jo Goddard is author of Woman on Fire: Nine Elements to Wake up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power and Sexual Intelligence and co-author of the best-selling classic Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men. She earned her Master’s degree in Human Sexuality Education at New York University and has been teaching and speaking about feminism and sexuality for over two decades.

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