Several years ago I began doing VIP days for clients as part of my work as a sexual empowerment coach. Many people don’t understand what a VIP day is or why anyone would choose to invest in an intensive day to address their sexuality and relationship issues, desires and proclivities: “A VIP day for sex? What exactly happens?” is the most common question that my team and I get about this work.
A private VIP day is a day carved out for one client (an individual or couple in my case) where we focus in on the things the clients want to learn, work on, work through, breakthrough or develop for an intensive amount of time in a sexy environment that is totally out of the box.
We feed our clients delectable cuisine as part of the VIP day experience and design the day to meet their particular needs, creating luscious environments for our clients to have their breakthroughs. As you can imagine, beauty is very important to our team! We take steps before the day itself to make sure our team is fully prepared, and afterwards we make time for integration calls to make sure the client maintains her momentum.
I also have begun to offer group VIP days for couples because sometimes it’s hard for a couple to see beyond their own issues and dynamics in a vacuum. But when we bring in another couple or two and they can witness one another—both in their messes and in their desires and curiosities—and everyone learns more. A couple can then step out of their myopic world and see more clearly the dynamics they’ve created in their partnership that are hindering their sexual connection. They can develop more compassion for each other and their ingrained patterns because they have been able to step outside of it and see it in someone else. We rarely get opportunities to witness one another in this way.
I love doing both private and group VIP days because of the intimacy I have with my clients and the ability to go deeply into the work they need in a concentrated space of time. I like the creativity of it and the personalization. It’s a bit like romance and love. What I do really is that. Finding out about them, providing them with special gifts and surprises, and giving them memorable experiences. That’s what new lovers tend to do for one another—and old lovers who are good at love. I have a big love for my clients and so much compassion for their struggles and desire to grow. Witnessing a client breakthrough and really claim their sexual power and desire is magical, and in those moments I know I am doing exactly what I was meant to do on earth.
I have relocated to a sexy place that just begs for sexy VIP days. Since sexuality is a Very Important Part of who we are, I am focusing on creating VIP experiences that allow people to make sex the priority they want it to be and to work on it in a deep and beautiful way. Sexy Napa (www.SexyNapa.com) was born out of my desire to work with people more in person, since I’m in a place that is absolutely a destination for people wanting a romantic, sexy good time.
I also know there are very clear patterns that couples have around sex and in my experience, about 95% of couples are in one of three places when it comes to their sexual lives:
1. They are in a honeymoon phase where they are still excited about each other, still learning each other and there is a lot of room for discovery. If they see sex as a Very Important Part of their relationship, they will want to learn all they can, develop their skills and make their sexual life as good as it can possibly be. I absolutely love getting to help couples who are earnest about being good lovers to one another!
2. The vast majority of couples who have been together for 5-15 or more years are in a place of wanting to connect more deeply, wondering where the spark went, (“It’s just not like it used to be, in the beginning,”) or why they never really had much spark to begin with. I talk to people weekly who share their stories of wanting more and that Peggy Lee song just plays in the background, “Is this all there is?” Couples in this phase really need to take a time out and figure out what’s getting in the way so they can have more of the sexual life they truly desire with one another.
3. A smaller percentage of people are the adventurers who want to explore their kinkier, freakier side. They have vivid fantasies and desires that might include threesomes, foursomes, swinging, or moresomes, spanking, power play, role play, dominance and submission, inflicting pain or taking it. They want to find out if they are a top or a bottom or a switch. They want to know what it all means. These couples want to spice it up and have something different that they haven’t experienced before. How fun is that?
Wherever a couple is, I love getting to meet them there and help them move towards the place where they really want to be. There are always solutions when there is desire. There is always another way to approach your sexual life so you can have more of what you really want. A VIP Day is an opportunity to reel it all in, cut through to the core issues and desires, and help you become the fully expressed sexual being you really want to be.
I do have the best job in the world.