November 9, 2021
Sexual Empowerment

Your Journey to Sexual Wholeness: Where to begin…

I have midwifed so many women through a process of stepping into their personal power and in creating the sexual and financial fulfillment they deeply desire.

And I have done it myself. I know what it takes. I know that you can’t fake it. (Although many people try.)

I know the fear that comes up. The constant internal questions:

“Can I really do this? 

Can I really have this? 

Is this real? 

Where do I start? 

What if I fail? 

What if I grow and then get rejected? 

What if other things in my life have to change?”

I know how much is possible when you sign up for the bigger life package–the I’m all-in, I want it all, I’m not settling anymore, I’m claiming my birthright package.

It is within reach for every person who wants it and is committed to growing so they can have it.

Yet that fear of change can keep people right where they are. We all know this place. And I can tell you,

Things will change. 

They have to because you are asking for change and growth. 

Growth by nature is change and yet everyone loves to talk about how much they love to grow, yet they often don’t want to change.

I hope you can laugh at the irony in this because I hear it from people all the time.

Either you want to grow or you don’t. 

You have to be willing to give up who you were so you make room for who you get to be.

If you aren’t growing, you are withering because everything is in motion—nothing is stagnant. If you feel stagnant, that is a sign that you are not growing. You are going in the wrong direction.

Let’s talk about what this path of sexual growth requires of you, and how to start your journey to sexual empowerment.

Waking Up

The first gateway to sexual empowerment is an awakening. You might have already passed this threshold, or you might be standing right on it.

This is the awakening of the sexual self, of the desire that is in you to grow, be bigger and more sexually powerful and to expand your experience of the world.

I know women are at this gate when they say to me, “I want more, I am ready to grow and I know the growth has to do with my sexuality.” 

They know that this is the place that holds the key to their greatest fulfillment and joy.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin

At this gate of awakening, you must give yourself permission.  

Know you deserve it, allow yourself to do what is most in service to what you desire, and to your growth. 

You must step beyond the gate even as your fears come up, even as you are afraid of what it might mean or what you might give up. 

You must walk through to begin to have more of yourself, more integration, more honesty.

In saying yes to your sexual self, you wake from the fog and fuzzy dream that has kept you asleep, kept you settling for less than you wanted, kept you ignoring the true depth of your desires.

This is the first big “YES” that puts you on the path of your sexual blossoming. You have to give it to yourself. Ultimately, no one else gives you that permission but YOU. 

Step into a great big “yes,” and you are on the road.

Becoming Sexually Conscious on the Journey

Once you are on the road, you must become conscious. You must face the things you’ve not seen before and how you have been in your own way, holding yourself back.

Begin to ask yourself the right questions, to engage with the journey in a different way.  

What does sexuality mean to me?  

How has my family/partner/religion/culture influenced my sexuality and sexual expression?  

In what ways does my sexuality impact the rest of my life?

What do I truly want at this stage of my life?

You are breaking away from the major tide in our culture that treats sex as bad and creates all this negativity and fear around it.

Separate yourself from the messages and limitations that judge women who are sexually powerful, call bullshit when you need to, and decide you want to be one of those sexually powerful women; you know it’s deeper and more meaningful than glossy cover girls and skinny mid-drifts.

You are the woman who chooses to stand in her own power, and is no longer standing outside of herself but is asking herself the deep, tender questions and listening for the answers. 

You now begin to treat sexuality as important enough to keep walking this road, to spend money/time/energy on it, to ask for support and to choose being conscious over the denial that has kept you really unhappy. 

You begin to see that you need people with you who will welcome your blossoming and not shame you or put you down.

Keep Going, Keep Listening

You get to let your own answers lead the way now. Your own heart and journey will lead you to the next gate, the next initiation and the next choice. All yours to determine and step through.

This is YOUR journey and your sexuality gets to be an integral part of it, rather than a sidekick that shows up for comic or pleasure relief from time to time. 

Make your sexual journey important and it will open and blossom like the best friend it is.

Given that the end of the year is coming and many people are looking to bring life into new perspective in 2022 I decided to reopen my Fire Woman Flagship Program. It’s a rare opportunity to be coached by me and learn from peers about the best next steps in tending your sexual life.

Read Part 2 (#3-4) and Part 3 (#5-7) here

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A’magine, formerly Amy Jo Goddard is author of Woman on Fire: Nine Elements to Wake up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power and Sexual Intelligence and co-author of the best-selling classic Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men. She earned her Master’s degree in Human Sexuality Education at New York University and has been teaching and speaking about feminism and sexuality for over two decades.

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